Celebrating Adoption

Celebrating Adoption is a group of photographers who want to share the joy of adoption by celebrating adoption with newly adoptive parents.

Visit their website to find a photographer near you. You will receive a complimentary portrait session (creative fee waived) and a set of proofs.

things i learned at the family center seminar

1. Home studies are now good for three years in the USA, HOWEVER, in some countries, they are only good for one year, so be sure to find out what the rules are for the country you wish to adopt from. The date begins from the date on your first document, i.e. your certified wedding or birth certificate.
   
2. You should only adopt from a "Licensed Child Placement Agency" and you may ask for a copy of their license, otherwise, chances are that the "agency" may be a "baby broker."
3. There are different laws for adopting from every state, and I mean totally different. Some states are easier to adopt from than others.
4. If you are looking to adopt domestically, you should consider getting an 800 (or 866) number to make it easier for a potential birth mother to contact you if she wants to. FCC Toll Free Numbers.
   
5. When you create your profile, you should not include your last name, but you should include your social workers name, your attorney's name, an email address, and a phone number (an 800 number will make it easy for a birth mother to contact you). Be sure to put your contact info on every page in case your pages get separated from the cover, or cover sheet. The attorney suggested placing your profile on parentprofiles.com and contacting any ob/gyns in your area to let them know you are interested in adopting.
   
6. Right now there is a three year wait to adopt from China.
7. There are many different types of adoptions: agency, parental placement, international, open, closed, independent...
8. It can take 8–12 weeks to complete the home study.
9. The home study is the first thing you must do for any adoption.
10. A birthmother likes to see lots of nice photos and a letter to her.
11. There are usually 3 post placement visits after the adoption. This is to be sure everything is going well for the new family.
12. You can research international adoption agencies on the Homeland Security website.
13. It was also recommended that I check the BBB when looking for international adoption agencies.
14. It is legal to advertise in the newspaper (that you are looking to adopt). I was surprised and don't think I could never do it because I'd be too worried about scams, etc. (but all I could think of during the seminar was "Juno" and the PennySaver!)

update

We still haven't decided if we will go with domestic or international adoption. They both have pros and cons. We plan to do our home study for international adoption, which can later be adjusted for domestic adoption.


workshop
This week we are going to a free adoption workshop offered by a family center in Richmond. Mom and dad are going to meet us there. The workshop will cover all aspects of domestic and international adoption including: home studies, various ways to adopt, legal questions and post-placement services.


home study
I am still waiting to hear back from two foundations about our home study. I've narrowed it down to these two foundations simply because they offer the cheapest home studies, however one comes highly recommended from our friend Ashley and his wife Karen. I've contacted both foundations TWICE now and am getting impatient! I want to get things moving!!! Maybe the workshop will give us some good tips for dealing with stuff like this.


international adoption
If we decide to go with an international adoption, we are considering Ukraine. This is the country our friend Sharon worked with for many years. One thing I've learned about adoption from Ukraine is that only one trip is necessary. Many other countries require two trips (for instance Russia requires two trips). The youngest babies can be adopted from Ukraine is 14 months old. I believe this is to encourage adoptions from inside the country first. Adoptions from Ukraine are closed adoptions meaning there is no contact with the birth parents.


domestic adoption
We are still also considering adoption from the hospital where my aunt works in California. One of the drawbacks of this is we have to wait to be chosen by a birth mother, and the birth parents my request an open adoption, meaning we stay in contact with the birth parents, sending photos and having annual visits. We would prefer a closed adoption. One of the benefits of this route is that we could get a newborn baby.

adoption tax credit

"You may be able to take a tax credit for qualifying expenses paid to adopt an eligible child (including a child with special needs). The adoption credit is an amount subtracted from your tax liability. Although the credit generally is allowed for the year following the year in which the expenses are paid, a taxpayer who paid qualifying expenses in the current year for an adoption which became final in the current year, may be eligible to claim the credit on the current year return. The adoption credit is not available for any reimbursed expense. In addition to the credit, certain amounts reimbursed by your employer for qualifying adoption expenses may be excludable from your gross income...."

"For 2008, the maximum adoption credit has increased to $11,650. Also, the maximum exclusion from income for benefits under your employer's adoption assistance program has increased to $11,650. These amounts are phased out if your modified adjusted gross income (MAGI) is between $174,730 and $214,730. You cannot claim the credit or exclusion if your MAGI is $214,730 or more."


See more on the IRS website here.

adoption from the Ukraine in a nutshell

Adoption for the Ukraine (borrowed from another blog):

1. Dossier paperwork – gathering things like birth certificates, marriage certificate, etc., and getting them notarized and apostilled.
2. Home study – a social worker interviews us and looks into our ability to parent and provide for a child. There is paperwork gathering here, too, and looking into assets, etc.
3. Immigration – filing fingerprints and money and such with the USCIS (former INS).
4. Sending completed dossier to facilitator in Ukraine for translation.
5. Submission of translated dossier to the State Department on Adoption (SDA), the government body in Kyiv (the capital of Ukraine) that does international adoptions.
6. SDA accepts dossier and issues a travel date.
7. Travel to Kyiv to meet with the SDA and get the referral of a child.
8. The inspector of the child's region and orphanage director give approval for us to visit the child.
9. We travel to the child's city.
10. We get a court date with a judge to be pronounced our child's parents.
11. There is a 10-day wait after pronouncement. (Sometimes this gets waived.)
    
12. Get passport with our child's new name and other paperwork.
13. Travel back to US Embassy in Kyiv for clearance and medical checkup.
14. Fly home.

(Kyiv is the Urkaine spelling for Kiev)


Sharon added that the entire process usually takes about 18 months.

Adoption Stories on Discovery Health Channel

I watched an episode this morning and the adopting dad said "There's a child for every family, and a family for every child." I just thought it was so beautiful.

Adoption Stories on Discovery Health Channel

Adoption Stories comes on the Discovery Health Channel three times a day. We have our TV programmed to go to it at 6:30 a.m. every weekday morning so we can watch and learn.

I wish they'd tell more about the process of adoption. They usually just show the "happy ending." I still find it interesting and we continue to watch it every morning. Chris enjoys it too and it has sparked a few discussions that otherwise might not have come up.

things you can do BEFORE your home study

We are trying to do as much of the adoption on our own as we can. We aren't working with an agency (yet).

I've been trying to find a social worker who will do our home study. I guess they call it an "independent" adoption because we are doing it independently, but don't quote me on that.

We are trying to get a home study done, and I've been doing my home work. The highest quote so far is $3,150, the lowest quote so far is $1,300. Do your homework, I can't stress that enough. This includes two meetings with the social worker and one visit to your home.

Even though we haven't started a home study yet, there are some things we can do to prepare for it, like ordering birth and marriage certificates. You don't need to wait for someone to tell you to do it. Specifically you need "certified" copies, which are different from "informational" copies. And the procedure to order these certificates varies from state to state, county to county, country to country. Again, do your homework.

While you you are waiting for your certificates to arrive, I also suggest you do a credit check to be sure your credit is in order because at some point, someone will be looking into your credit history.

Be thinking about who you'd like to have write references for you. I've read different things on this, some want your references to have known you for only two years, others for five years or more, so I'd suggest playing it safe and thinking of those who've known you five years or more. Just make a list at this point.

Get your house in shape. I've read that we shouldn't worry, they aren't going to come in with white gloves, but they want to be sure there is a room for a child and that your home is safe.

I hope to add more tips to this posting as I learn more.

10.31.08 On your financial statement, you may be asked if you have life insurance and what are the face and cash values. This is something you can find out before you begin your home study.

how to make adoption an affordable option

from the National Endowment for Financial Education

This booklet was developed for people who would like to consider adoption, but who may believe the process is too expensive. It details the expenses common to most adoptions, as well as those that were unique to the adoption of waiting children, independent adoptions, and international adoptions.

download a free 73-page booklet: How to Make Adoption an Affordable Option

books i bought yesterday

The Complete Adoption Book
by Laura Beauvias-Godwin & Raymond Godwin, Esq.
copyright 2005
(thanks to Stephanie for the recommendation!!!)

10.25.08 I want to add that this is a BIG book (690 pages!) and I find it very strange that the part about the home study is in the center of the book (page 306), I would have thought that would be at the beginning. I also find it frustrating that it was last updated in 2005.

Labor of the Heart:
A Parent's Guide to the Decisions
and Emotions in Adoption
by Kathleen L. Whitten, Ph.D
copyright 2008

10.25.08 I am liking this one too. It is a little more warm and fuzzy, rather than all business, if that makes any sense.

a book by Jamie Lee Curtis

When a young girl asks her parents about the first night of her life, she wants to know every detail. Was she tiny and perfect? How did her parents feel during their first night together? Why had her mommy and daddy decided to adopt her? Funny, tender, and altogether exuberant, here is one family’s celebration of their first cherished moments together.

Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born is a heartwarming story, not only of how one child is born but of how a family is born.

A note from Jamie: Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born is a celebration of adoption and belonging to a family. Both of my children are adopted, and Tell Me Again is about the experience of adoption from a child's point of view. The fact that the book has been so embraced by the adoption community has been a bonus that I did not expect.

Find this book at the Jamie Lee Curtis website and on Amazon.com

home study preparation

I am hoping to schedule our home visit soon. I am in the process of document collecting!

A home study consists of:

• A series of visits with your adoption social worker, including at least one visit to the family home
• A medical form for all members of the household, completed by your family physician
• References from non-relatives, who have known you at least two years
• An autobiography which will include significant happenings in your life and your feelings associated with adopting a child
• Copies of birth certificate(s), marriage license (if applicable), divorce decrees (if applicable)
• Verification of employment or income
• Criminal, Sex Offender, and Child Protective Services Record Checks
• Agreement of Non-Use of Physical Punishment for a child placed in your care
  
  Additional requirements will vary depending on the type of adoption you are considering, whether it be international or domestic (relative, open, parental placement, or agency).

a book by Sharon Liddle

Sharon wrote this story in Spring 2003 during a trip to Ukraine. She had an interesting experience and the word wombat was part of a conversation and seemed unique and appropriate. That was the year Sharon met her daughter Katy. This story is dedicated to the orphanage and the family Sharon traveled with. Her daughter will tell you that it is her life story. It is at the publisher now.

I will let you know when it's available for purchase. Sharon in planning on writing many more books. I've had the honor of seeing a proof of the book and it is beautifully written and illustrated.

Visit Sharon's website: The Elijah Foundation

The National Adoption Foundation and OneCause

When you register with OneCause and participate in their easy programs (online shopping for one thing), you automatically earn contributions for the National Adoption Foundation – 50% of which is disbursed to the member of your choice.

If you'd like to choose us:

1. Go to http://www.onecause.com/ and register as a OneCause member.
2. Choose The National Adoption Foundation as your favorite cause.
3. On your home page, on the left side under "My Profile Settings" click on "Supporter Crediting."
4. Click on the "Enroll in the National Adoption Foundation Supporter Crediting Program" and enter our registered email address: gemmabean@earthlink.net

You can shop online and enter your credit cards to earn credits.

This is very similar to the Upromise program that lets you earn credit towards your child's college education.

The Mommy Orphanage

What if there was a Mommy Orphanage where moms lived until a child visited to pick them out and take them home to be their mom?

The Mommy Orphanage was created by the mother and daughter team of Cheryl and Emily Krass. When Emily was five years old, she imagined the concept of a Mommy Orphanage and Cheryl expanded it into a book. Cheryl loved the unusual twist of the story and just knew it needed to be shared.

The Mommy Orphanage presents a unique twist on the international adoption story. While many children’s adoption stories are told from the point of view of parents as they portray the story of their journey to bring their new baby home, The Mommy Orphanage unfolds from a child’s perspective.

Emily was born in 2001 in the Guangdong Province of China in a city called Gaozhou. She spent the first 9 months of her life living in an orphanage called the Gaozhou Social Welfare Institute. In June of 2002, her parents Cheryl and Louis Krass, along with big brother Alex (who was 10 at the time), traveled to China to adopt Emily and bring her home to her new family.

The Mommy Orphanage website

don't get excited when you see this, she's not ours

This photo is from a trip Sharon took this past March to the Ukraine with a family from Atlanta. They adopted 2 girls: a 3-year old, and this darling 20-month-old. Sharon worked for 6 years as a social worker for an international adoption agency in the Norfolk/Va. Beach area.

We are lucky to have Sharon on our team!

learning curve

We have a lot to learn. Fortunately we have a few teachers and lots of support.

Sharon, a friend I went to Va. Tech with, use to work in international adoptions and has offered to lead us in any way she can. She has already given me lots of great information. In addition to three boys, Sharon adopted her daughter Kate from the Ukraine.

Ashley, an old friend of mine who also went to Va. Tech, as offered to mentor us through the adoption process. He and his wife Karen adopted their son Russell from Russia.

Jennifer, a friend of a friend, has also offered to help us in any way she can. I have never met Jennifer, but we've spoken on the phone and emailed. Jennifer and her husband have a daughter through domestic adoption. Wow, the kindness of strangers.

My family is already getting bigger :)

We have not decided whether we will do a domestic or international adoption. From what I've read, there are a lot of children in orphanages abroad, and in some ways, international adoption is preferred because these children have already been given up, therefore, there is little to no chance their birth parents would want to take them back.

I am also looking into grants to help us defray the cost of adoption. Sharon has given me a list to go through. She also gave me a checklist of things we need to do and collect, what a blessing she has been.

I'm still trying to get my head around all of this. It's a lot to take in. But with Sharon, Ashley, Jennifer and my family's support, everything seems a lot less daunting.

the road to motherhood

Within three days this week, one family member and two friends pointed me towards Russia for adoption.

Who knows where this adventure will lead us, as long as there is a baby to complete our family at the end of the road, I don't care where it takes us!

connections & networking

Do you know of a hospital, doctor's office or person who may have a newborn available for adoption? Any information you'd care to share with us would be greatly appreciated. The more we can get the word out, the better our chances of adopting a newborn. We are not limiting ourselves to one hospital in southern California.

A new door has opened for us, we just wanna be sure we check behind EVERY door.

Thank you!

Love,
Julie & Chris

the eight-year pregnancy

When you've been an expectant mother for over eight years, one tends to get a bit over excited at the thought of actually holding and loving a newborn baby and calling it our own.

We need to do a lot more work on our profile. We need to complete a home study. We need to hire an attorney. It's just all a lot more involved than we originally thought.

When the home study is complete, THEN our profile can go in the pile the birth mother picks from. We also found out the hospital in California only has 3–4 babies available for adoption per year. So we will be looking in additional places.

So we aren't expecting a newborn baby tomorrow or next week. But we are still expecting.