Thursday, February 25, 2010

touching email

I don’t know if you remember me but I met you in the waiting area of the Olive Garden in Williamsburg maybe two years ago? You were very open about your struggle to start a family and I told you about our difficult road to have a child. I was going through my wallet and found the blog address and I wanted to see how things were going for you. I’m sorry that you are still not where you want to be but I admire you so much for how you are dealing with this very difficult and gut wrenching hand that you have been dealt. I wish you the very best in your continued journey.

Made my day. I never imagine anyone admires me.
Thank you for telling me.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

i've been called a lot of things, but Mom isn't one of them

The Mom commercials from P&G during the Olympics are really getting to me. I've been having a bad week anyway.

Saturday we attended a workshop about IVF with donor eggs. Of course there is now way we could afford it, but . . . they were giving away a free donor cycle. We felt like people at a time-share who couldn't afford it, sitting through the hour plus schpeel waiting to find out if we will win a weekend away. It was very interesting. I did learn a lot about IVF with donor eggs, however, we did not win.

In the mean time, I had another iron in the fire. I'd received an email asking for a volunteer who was willing to talk about infertility on The View. I got a return email, and then the call from a producer. We chatted for over an hour while I was sitting in a shoe store. She said she'd call me Monday morning with the details of our flight and hotel. That was Saturday afternoon, after we'd found out we didn't win the free donor egg cycle.

Sunday I thought about all we'd have to do to get ready to fly to NYC on Wednesday afternoon. All the appointments that had to be rescheduled, sleeping arrangements for the 12 paws, geting the ok from our jobs, etc. I'm a planner, I need to know, I had stuff to do to prepare. I did some research on The View as I'm always at work when it's on. I also did some research on the celebrity couple that will be on tomorrow's show:

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Hear the stars of the Style Network's Bill & Giuliana, Giuliana Rancic and her husband Bill Rancic, discuss their infertility struggles. We'll also talk to other infertile men and women.

Bill won The Apprentice a few years back. Giuliana is a producer and together they have a reality show.

We haven't given up on adoption, but man, I wish we could afford IVF with a donor egg! The workshop made me long to be pregnant again, and carry my own child. They spoke about bonding and how it doesn't happen in a specific moment, it happens over time and it's different for everyone. They also mentioned that women have the most eggs while in utero. There is actually a significant decrease in eggs while we are still in utero! This was news to me.

I came away thinking it's a shame that evolution takes so long. Our bodies are still expecting us to carry our offspring in our late teens and early twenties. The next significant decline in eggs happens around age 27, which I didn't learn until I was in my mid 30s. It's just downhill from there, first a slow decline, then just faster and faster.

They showed slides of a young, healthy egg, and an older less healthy egg, how the chromosomes line up in a young egg, and how they are all over the place in an older egg. *sigh*

It was interesting. I learned a lot. And of course something I already knew: I still want to be a mom.