Tuesday, November 17, 2009

two sides to every coin

I have tried very hard to understand things from the birth mom's side, or maybe some of you hadn't noticed (obviously by some of the comments that I get and chose to delete rather than post for all to see).

I have become friends with birth moms, just as I am friends with adoptees. I try to understand everyone's point of view.

I cannot imagine what it would be like to make an adoption plan for my child.

I cannot imagine what it would be like to give birth, because I am not able to carry a baby to full term.

I have been getting some ugly comments.

Some of you cannot imagine what it is like to not be able to carry a baby full term. Did you ever think of that? You ask me to think of how difficult it is for the birth mom making an adoption plan for her unborn baby. I do. I have. Have you ever given any thought to what it's like to be a women who is unable to have children? You might want to consider thinking about it.

As in life, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all. I will not post your comment, so kindly keep it to yourself.

My blog is for friends and family and strangers to follow along our journey to adopt. I hope to educate some about adoption as well as learn from kind commenters.

Thank you.

bad news . . . again

Just found out we were not chosen to parent the baby due December 20. We were really hoping.

Well, we really hope for EVERY child, but particularly this one. The birth mom is in our state.

It is difficult to find the courage to go on, but we will. We want a family more than anything else in the world.

We will find our child/children.

adoption awareness

just came across this great, informative site about adoption awareness:

Contact Person:
Professor Cynthia R. Mabry
(202) 806-8067

2900 Van Ness Street, NW
Washington, DC 20008

"Welcome to Howard University School of Law’s Adoption Awareness web site! This site is designed to promote adoption of children in the child welfare system in the Washington Metropolitan Area including the District of Columbia, Maryland, and Northern Virginia. The child welfare system was chosen because a majority of the children who are waiting to be adopted are in the public child welfare systems in these states. This site offers general information about the adoption process, adoption laws, local adoption agencies, adoption attorneys, and selected national web sites that provide a wealth of information about children who are available for adoption and the child welfare system..."

Monday, November 16, 2009

waiting, waiting and then, some more waiting

I'm growing weary of all the waiting. We inquire about a child and wait. And wait. And wait. And then wait some more. And I think "this is it, this is our child." But no, we hear nothing. We just wait.

We are still waiting to hear about the baby who is due December 20. Yes, all my eggs are in that basket. I WANT that baby. The birth mom is in our state. It's a perfect situation and she is looking for someone with 2 big dogs. We have 2 big dogs and Annie the puppy. Should I call her attorney and let him know we adopted Annie? Would that swing things our way?

And then there's A, who's matching meeting is Nov. 19. We are waiting to hear about her too.

The exercise of finding a child to adopt is so much like job hunting. When you find the job you want, you want to stop looking, but what if you don't get offered that job.

I feel like I betray some of the children when we inquire about more.

Then I remind myself, it's not about finding a child for us, it's about finding a home for a child. That is not like job hunting.

So we will wait, and wait, and wait some more.

I cannot believe we've been waiting 10 years to be parents, and one year to adopt. Last year we were sure we'd adopt a child before last Christmas, and here we are, a year later, waiting.

It's been three years since my last miscarriage. I still hold out a tiny hope that the myth about adoption is true, that everyone gets pregnant after they adopt. We would like at least two children. Why does this have to be so hard for us, so difficult.

We have spent so much time and money trying to become parents. Why couldn't it be easy, natural. What are we supposed to be learning from this. Why us. Why me.

I won't give up.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

unexpected adoption

Meet Annie. She is 6 weeks old. A friend of a friend found her wandering out of a corn field and into the road. She is now the newest and youngest member of our pack. The other two four-leggeds aren't sure what to make of her.

We think this is a good learning experience for the entire pack. For the humans, we were up all night last night with a crying Annie. The four-leggeds just don't know what to make of her and the pack has changed. I'm hoping this will help them adjust when we add another two-legged to our pack.

While we CONTINUE to WAIT to adopt, Annie is a bright ray of sunshine in our day (ehem and NIGHT! - we are thinking of it as practice!).

She may be just what we needed to weather the wait.

Transition time in our house :)