Thursday, July 30, 2009

dear department of social services,

Maine: You do your children a great disservice by only updating your waiting children QUARTERLY

Connecticut: Thank you for posting a "last modified" date! This is greatly appreciated by us waiting parents.

to be continued...
11 months, 1 week & 6 days

need I say more...
The Adoption Clubhouse is a program of the National Adoption Center, whose mission it is to expand adoption opportunities throughout the United States, particularly for children with special needs and those from minority cultures.

Read More about the National Adoption Center

The Adoption Clubhouse is designed, authored and formatted by adoption professionals who believe...

Adoption is not the end but the beginning of a lifetime of experiences and relationships heightened by the unique aspects of being adopted.

The Adoption Clubhouse is designed with your child's adoption needs in mind. Through the activities and information on this site your child can experience a sense of belonging to a wider adoption community of peers.

The staff of Adoption Clubhouse takes every precaution to insure a safe internet experience for your child but we ask you to be the lead in guiding them when using this and other websites.

To read about the contents of the Adoption Clubhouse, please see our Parents’ Guide for information.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Taking a break this summer?
Plan to jumpstart your family building efforts in September at the
2009 Family Building Conference: Adoption, Infertility Treatment,
Donor and Third Party Options

Saturday, September 12, 2009
Tysons Corner, VA

  • Looking for a comprehensive overview of your family building options?
  • Stuck at a decision crossroads and wondering how to get the information necessary to take the next steps?
  • Want to talk to people just like you who know what you are going through?

Join RESOLVE at our 2009 Family Building Conference and get the answer to these questions and more. Educational sessions include domestic and international adoption, surviving the home study, improving your IVF outcome, donor issues, dealing with grief and loss, getting the support you need from family and friends, and strengthening your marriage during IVF treatment. Hear the personal stories by attending and IVF or adoptive parent panel discussion. Also offered are personal, free, 15 minute appointments with local experts, and an Exhibitors Hall where you can talk to representatives from agencies, clinics and more. Whatever your family building question is, find the answer at the 2009 RESOLVE Family Building Conference.

Register online today!
Thank you to our Sponsors:

Premier Sponsor of all 2009 Programs and Services


Benefactor Sponsors of all 2009 Programs and Services

The Johns Hopkins Fertility Center
Professional Pharmacy
Prosperity Specialty Pharmacy
Shady Grove Fertility Center

Friday, July 17, 2009

People ask me. "What about gay adoptions? Interracial? Single Parent?" I say. "Hey fine, as long as it works for the child and the family is responsible." My big stand is this: Every child deserves a home and love. Period.

Dave Thomas
Founder of Wendy's
adopted child

thought for the day

How do we prepare when we have no idea how old our kids will be?

It's not like being pregnant and expecting a newborn, you know what you're having, you know how to prepare. You can plan.

We cannot buy one single thing. No car seats, no bed or crib, no toys, no clothes, nada.

It's all gonna be a last minute scramble - so that's what I'm trying to prepare for, if that's possible.

I am a planner. I think this is what frustrates me about adoption. I cannot plan.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

dear reader

This is an email I recently sent to family and friends, most of it you already know if you keep up with this blog, but I wanted to include you and also thank you for your support.

Dear family & friends,

Just a note to bring you up-to-date with our adoption journey. It's been nearly a year since we embarked on our journey to build our family through adoption.

We have updated our home study to include up to two children age newborn through five years old. We are really hoping for a sibling group of two, much to our surprise! This type of adoption is through Social Services, and we are considering children from all 50 states. Don't be surprised if you find us on your doorstep looking for a place to crash ;)

By widening the age range, we hope to speed up the adoption process a bit.
We are currently being considered as adoptive parents for three sibling groups. Don't worry, we will let you know when we become parents!

Thank you to those of you who have been helpful and supportive in our journey to build our family. Your support is greatly appreciated.

Take care, and we hope you are enjoying your summer.

Please visit our blog about our journey at

Love, Julie & Chris

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

a rose by any other name

Dear reader,

I want to know what you think about names. Specifically, changing the name of an adopted child. I have been pondering this subject for some time now. I go back and fourth. Sometimes I feel like the child has been through enough, who are we to go changing their first name.

Then I think, if they are under a certain age, it may be ok. Like if they cannot spell their name yet, it might be ok.

I've also heard of older children who want to pick a new first name because they associate their given first name with bad things, and their former life.

With some names, it's just a matter of um, well, correcting the spelling, and I don't really see that as a problem, unless of course, the child is old enough to spell their name, then it may be a problem or not an option.

What do you think? I'd like to hear from you.

the kindness of strangers

I got the SWEETEST email today, I just have to share.

Julie, I don't know if you remember me or not... I've chatted with you on the infertility forums over the years and have emailed you before. I just want you to know, I continue to follow your story and you touch my heart in so many ways. I love that you are documenting your journey to becoming parents and really enjoy reading all of your words of wisdom along the way. I always have my eyes and ears open to children that may need a mommy and daddy and have you in mind lots. Take care and keep the faith... you are going to be an awesome set of parents some day because of your adventure along the way!!!!

A, I want to publicly thank you for writing. It means so much to me that you took the time. I am truly touched. Thanks A, you made my day!

update 7.16.09: I should change the title of this post, A is not really a "stranger," we've have cyber contact for several years, we've just never met in person ;) Ah, the kindness of people I've never met!!! :):):)

whose parents are we?

We are being considered as adoptive parents for these 2 sets of siblings as well as another set of brothers (whom I do not have a photo of).

The kid's social workers DO have our home study in hand, and as one social worker said "we are in the hat."

It is very nice to have some positive news and know we are being considered, after all the negative news lately. Maybe these are not our kids either, but we will keep searching until we find them!!!

FYI, my friend A and her husband J are also being considered for the two brothers pictured above. So these boys have at least 2 options for great parents!

adoption quotes and more

Words of wisdom on adoption.

I have been looking for encouraging words on adoption, came across this and wanted to share.


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

If during the course of your own life,
you have saved one life,
it is as if you have saved all humankind.
– Al Kadushin

16 & Pregnant - Episode #6 - on MTV 7.16.09

Better For My Baby
Catelynn explains to potential adoptive parents why she's adamant on providing her daughter with the life she never had, on the upcoming episode of '16 and Pregnant,' airing Thursday, July 16th at 10 p.m. ET/PT.

Click on the post title to go to MTV's page about 16 & Pregnant to see previews.

Friday, July 10, 2009

adoption language

Helpful post by Michelle. Check it out.

Adoption Language
Nothing is as simple as we hope it will be.
- Jim Horning

growing frustration

  1. Maine updates their website QUARTERLY, so you can see the same kids there after they've been placed, but they will still show as available until the next quarterly update.
  2. Our social worker inquired about 2 sisters in another state, she was told to send our home study, she did. I called to follow-up to be sure our home study was received. The girls case worker told me that due to the fact that the girls have siblings in their state, only families in their state will be considered and that she is THROWING AWAY our home study. Whey didn't she tell our caseworker that when she made the initial inquiry?
  3. Some states post children on their websites even though the children have ALREADY BEEN PLACED.
  4. In some states the children remain on the website as available even thought their case worker has submitted paperwork to have them removed or marked as adopted. Seems many states have a backup with paperwork and cannot keep the children's status up-to-date.
  5. One state told me they could not afford to pay the webmaster to keep their website up-to-date. GOOD GRIEF!

This all makes it very difficult when you are searching for a child or children to adopt. If they are not available for adoption outside their state, that information would be VERY helpful to know up front.

It's looking more and more like if you don't know someone who, or have an "in" it's nearly impossible to adopt.

It should not be this difficult.

Monday, July 6, 2009

how to adopt

Came across this while searching photolistings, so I thought I'd share. Unfortunately nothing to report on this end, I'm getting calls, but they are to say "already been adopted." So frustrating...

Every adoption experience is as unique as the families, children, and service personnel involved. Common to every adoption, however, are certain steps that lead from first thinking about adoption to finally welcoming a new child (or children!) into your life. The 15 steps listed below--typical for most domestic (adoption of American children by American citizens) special needs adoptions--provide a basic overview of how you may want to approach the adoption process....

for the rest, click here