more about Kellie Coffey from her official site

[8/5/2007 6:36:00 PM] Kellie's Story

With the success of the video for "I would Die For That", so many have asked about Kellie''s journey to being a mom. Here, in her own words, she tells her story...

"I knew it was happening to me…but I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want to believe it. I went to my writing session with my producer, Wayne Kirkpatrick, anyway. When I got there, it got worse. I was really cramping and bleeding now. I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said, “I think something bad is happening”. He was looking at his computer trying to bring up some sounds for a song we were working on…”huh?”, he said and looked up as he asked “What’s wrong?” I heard myself say the words, “I think I’m having a miscarriage.” He stood up and hugged me. He was very comforting but I said “I have to call my husband, Geoff, I have to go home.”

I wondered if I had worked out too hard. Maybe I ate something bad. Why was this happening to me? Was I too stressed out? Did I wait too long to have a baby? I was getting hysterical. Maybe it will stop and the baby will be alright. Geoff answered the phone, “Hello?”
“It’s getting worse”, I blurted out, sobbing.
“Where are you?”, he asked.
“I’m driving.”
“I want you to calm down. Do you need to pull over?
“No. I just want to get home and lay down.”
“You are closer to the doctor’s office. Can you drive yourself there? I will meet you. You have to calm down first, though. It’s going to be alright.” Geoff has this way of making me feel like it’s gonna be okay. He is a rock.

My career was all encompassing. It was like stepping onto a moving train. I was working so hard. I was so focused. There were two things that I wanted in life more than anything. One was to be a singer and the other was to be a mom. I kept telling myself (and my husband), We’ll get pregnant after I can get established in the business, after this next single, once my second album hits retail… after I get a hold of this thing.

Like most women I wanted to have it all: a great marriage, fulfilling career and be a hands-on Mom. The reality is there is a price for everything. I knew there was discrimination involving female artists getting pregnant in the recording industry. It was looked upon as a lack of commitment. You’ll lose your edge. You’ll get fat..."

The story seems to get cut of there, but I have ready that she has a boy and a girl.

"i would die for that" too

Kellie Coffey's song about wanting to have a child. Emotional. Powerful. I've never hear of her but a friend sent me this and it really touched me.

a letter & a book

Today I received the following letter, I hope the author won’t mind me sharing it with my readers:

Dear Julie,

Hi! Just happened upon your blog and am so glad I did. Never give up! We waited over seven years for our baby. I can honestly tell you that once your miracle happens, you forget about all the years of pain. I truly believe that God has a master plan.

I'm hoping that you might include my recently published book on your blog as a humanistic story that provides infertile couples with answers to questions on what they can do to give themselves the best chance to become pregnant so they do not have happen to them what happened to us.

After seeing 7 gynecologists, enduring 6 surgeries and years and years of medications, injections and consultations, we were blessed with two wonderful daughters. It was one "infertility experts" incorrect dosage of medication that caused my endometriosis to return to its initial severity rendering me virtually unable to ever physically carry a baby. Although at the time very painful, infertility turned out to be a blessing in disguise for my husband and me.

Adoption was a miracle for us and, as our girls are now grown, independent young ladies now, I can say with total certainty that it was a beautiful way to successfully become a family. Our older daughter, Elyssa, a 3rd year anesthesiology resident, recently told us that once she completes her residency she wants to move closer to us as there's "nothing like the love of family." Our younger daughter, Julie, was recently married and, although she lives out of state, we talk many times daily and visit one another frequently. We could not love two children more and it is definitely true that they grew in my heart.

The book I wrote with prominent NYC infertility expert Masood Khatamee, entitled Doctor, Are You Listening? ( A Couple's Struggle To Find The Right Infertility Doctor) chronicles our struggle with infertility and depicts the entire adoption process. The many religious roadblocks and difficulties we encountered are described, as well as the birth of a baby that was to be ours whose biological mother changed her mind two days before we were to adopt her. The joy of our two daughters adoptions are included. Resources, options and choices are given. The book provides women with ways to recognize if their doctor is the best one for them and signs to look for to tell if he or she is truly listening.

Hopefully, the book will provide a heart warming story, coupled with medical advise, to those wishing to conceive or to those interested in adoption. I would be very appreciative if you would pass along the name of the book on your blog. It is available at many Barnes and Noble Bookstores and at amazon.com. You can actually pull up the table of contents on amazon.com to get a better overview of what is included.

I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Linda Perelman Pohl

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Here is the book

Doctor are You Listening?
A Couple’s Struggle to Find
the Right Infertility Doctor
by Dr. Masood Khatamee & Linda Perelman Pohl
copyright November 2008

From Barnes & Noble:

Finding the right doctor is essential. Whether an infertile woman ever conceives is often dependent on the doctor she chooses. Although Linda presented with common symptoms associated with infertility, Dr. A. Loof, a 'specialist,' told her that her pain was 'in her mind' and suggested she drink wine to rectify her problem. An incorrect medication dosage, prescribed by Dr. Doubtful, caused her disease to return to its initial severity. Years of consultations, medications, surgeries and emotional pain and she was back where she had started. Her insides were a mess. The importance of women knowing their choices and empowering themselves at doctor's visits is imperative. Our book provides resources and options for any couple struggling with infertility. Dr. Khatamee, a world-renowned infertility specialist, describes what should have been done and presents numerous case studies. He discusses the most current tests available, what each entails and when testing should commence. The prevention of infertility and preservation of fertility are addressed.Doctors need to listen to their patients and be held accountable for their actions. Doctor, Are You Listening?

I have not read this book, but I wanted to share it with my readers, especially my girls at the Fertility Forum, because I know many of us have similar stories. It is not unlike my own. Yes, Linda has asked for a little free PR, but I am touched that she reached out to me with her support and also considers my blog an outlet to reach other women. j

infertility unites

A beautiful baby girl was flirting with Chris and I yesterday at the Olive Garden while we were waiting to be seated. Big mouth that I am, of course we ended up in a conversation with her parents about infertility and adoption right there in the packed waiting area.

We discussed how isolating infertility can be and what a shame it is. They were excited to hear we are waiting to adopt. Total strangers united by infertility. Not a conversation you'd expect to have while waiting for a table, but then if you know me, you know me.

I gave them the address to this blog and I hope they visit. We would like to be in touch with them.

So if you are the couple from the Olive Garden with the beautiful redheaded 1 year old girl, please leave a comment or contact us. Connections like this in the “real world” are rare. We look forward to hearing from you.

my girls on the fertility forum

I want to tell you about my girls (and I say girls, because at 43, I'm the granny of the bunch!)

I joined the fertility forum in May 2006, the month I had my first infertility procedure. Over the years, I've received wonderful support from many women on this forum and I know many of them are readers of my blog.

Many of these women have been so very fortunate to give birth, one is even pregnant with her second child now, I can't believe how very exciting that must be after experiencing infertility problems.

Another just had her baby girl Lily this week! Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!

When one of us has a child, they joyous event is shared by all of us, it's a very strange and wonderful phenomenon.

My very dearest and closest friend had her baby girl over a year ago. We are in contact either online or on the phone, nearly every day. I don't know what I would do without her friendship and support, it's grown to mean so much to me, and we've never even met. I have had the joy of watching her baby grow through photos, and I even got to help pick out her Halloween costume this year. What an honor.

I have an "adopted" little sister who is pregnant and about to take a trip to India to visit her family and attend a wedding. (Yes, I asked and she HAS gotten the ok from her doc to fly. I have to keep an eye on her.) *wink*

My other oldest friend from the forum had a baby boy Alex, and now her partner is pregnant with twins (a boy and a girl)! What a house full they will have!!! I'm just terribly excited for them.

You have already been introduced to my friend through her post who along with her brother is adopted. Both she and her baby boy Jason are truly miracles. Her support has been through infertility and now adoption. I am touched by our friendship

I have another friend who is also hoping to adopt like me and we share adoption tips. It's nice to not have to go it alone.

Recently, I have had the pleasure of reconnecting with another "old" friend from the forum who actually lives only about 1.5 hours away. We have had the pleasure of talking on the phone. It is very exciting to have one of my friends SO close by. We plan to meet some Saturday for lunch when I get through all this home study business. I consider myself her infertility coach and am encouraging her to get aggressive about her treatment! There is no time to waste where infertility is concerned.

I feel sorry for women who have not found support and friendship from others who have experienced infertility, it can be a very isolating experience. Without these women, and many others (this would be a terribly long post if I mentioned everyone – please don't be offended if I didn't mention you!) I would not be who I am or where I am today.

To my girls: I thank you for your support, friendship and love through my infertility journey and now through adoption, it means so much.

This blog has introduced me to new friends who are going through the adoption process or have already experienced the joy of adoption and your friendship, support and encouragement also mean a lot to me.

The internet is a crazy and wonderful thing, IMHO.

If you are suffering from infertility and feeling isolated, I highly recommend you check out this forum and wonderful bunch of people: Fertility Forums

National Infertility Awareness Week

October 19–25, 2008
National Infertility Awareness Week®
A movement to raise awareness about the disease of infertility
which affects 7.3 million Americans.

For more information, visit RESOLVE