Saturday, January 3, 2009

a letter & a book

Today I received the following letter, I hope the author won’t mind me sharing it with my readers:

Dear Julie,

Hi! Just happened upon your blog and am so glad I did. Never give up! We waited over seven years for our baby. I can honestly tell you that once your miracle happens, you forget about all the years of pain. I truly believe that God has a master plan.

I'm hoping that you might include my recently published book on your blog as a humanistic story that provides infertile couples with answers to questions on what they can do to give themselves the best chance to become pregnant so they do not have happen to them what happened to us.

After seeing 7 gynecologists, enduring 6 surgeries and years and years of medications, injections and consultations, we were blessed with two wonderful daughters. It was one "infertility experts" incorrect dosage of medication that caused my endometriosis to return to its initial severity rendering me virtually unable to ever physically carry a baby. Although at the time very painful, infertility turned out to be a blessing in disguise for my husband and me.

Adoption was a miracle for us and, as our girls are now grown, independent young ladies now, I can say with total certainty that it was a beautiful way to successfully become a family. Our older daughter, Elyssa, a 3rd year anesthesiology resident, recently told us that once she completes her residency she wants to move closer to us as there's "nothing like the love of family." Our younger daughter, Julie, was recently married and, although she lives out of state, we talk many times daily and visit one another frequently. We could not love two children more and it is definitely true that they grew in my heart.

The book I wrote with prominent NYC infertility expert Masood Khatamee, entitled Doctor, Are You Listening? ( A Couple's Struggle To Find The Right Infertility Doctor) chronicles our struggle with infertility and depicts the entire adoption process. The many religious roadblocks and difficulties we encountered are described, as well as the birth of a baby that was to be ours whose biological mother changed her mind two days before we were to adopt her. The joy of our two daughters adoptions are included. Resources, options and choices are given. The book provides women with ways to recognize if their doctor is the best one for them and signs to look for to tell if he or she is truly listening.

Hopefully, the book will provide a heart warming story, coupled with medical advise, to those wishing to conceive or to those interested in adoption. I would be very appreciative if you would pass along the name of the book on your blog. It is available at many Barnes and Noble Bookstores and at You can actually pull up the table of contents on to get a better overview of what is included.

I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time.

Linda Perelman Pohl
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Here is the book

Doctor are You Listening?
A Couple’s Struggle to Find
the Right Infertility Doctor

by Dr. Masood Khatamee & Linda Perelman Pohl
copyright November 2008

From Barnes & Noble:
Finding the right doctor is essential. Whether an infertile woman ever conceives is often dependent on the doctor she chooses. Although Linda presented with common symptoms associated with infertility, Dr. A. Loof, a 'specialist,' told her that her pain was 'in her mind' and suggested she drink wine to rectify her problem. An incorrect medication dosage, prescribed by Dr. Doubtful, caused her disease to return to its initial severity. Years of consultations, medications, surgeries and emotional pain and she was back where she had started. Her insides were a mess. The importance of women knowing their choices and empowering themselves at doctor's visits is imperative. Our book provides resources and options for any couple struggling with infertility. Dr. Khatamee, a world-renowned infertility specialist, describes what should have been done and presents numerous case studies. He discusses the most current tests available, what each entails and when testing should commence. The prevention of infertility and preservation of fertility are addressed.Doctors need to listen to their patients and be held accountable for their actions. Doctor, Are You Listening?

I have not read this book, but I wanted to share it with my readers, especially my girls at the Fertility Forum, because I know many of us have similar stories. It is not unlike my own. Yes, Linda has asked for a little free PR, but I am touched that she reached out to me with her support and also considers my blog an outlet to reach other women. j


Mom of Snooch said...

In my current "obsession" with motherhood (I look up parenting related items more than anything on the web these days), I am still reminded of the pain of infertility when I happen to read other people's experiences. Linda's story reminded me of an OB/GYN I saw early in our struggle, who at the first visit never did anything except talk to us, perhaps looked at my BBT charts, and said "you should be pregnant this time." I came back around the time AF was due (knowing I wasn't pregnant in my heart), and they had me take a pregnancy test which of course confirmed my gut feeling. I can't remember what he said next, but I never went back to him. I found a different doc who at least did a TEST on me (hysterosalpingogram?) and then suggested IUI (which for some reason I wasn't ready to do). This is getting long! I just want your birth mother to come along!

Julie said...

At first I was told to wait at least a year before I saw a specialist (I was 34). We went to a few specialists who said I had "unexplained infertility." Grrrr. I did some research and diagnosed myself with PCOS. Saw a few more specialists who all said "NO" to PCOS. It was five years later when my NP referred us to a Reproductive Endocrinologist who said "YES" to PCOS within 5 minutes.

Finding the right doctor is key, and I try to stress this to my friends currently seeking the help of infertility "specialists." Take control of your treatment, you are your own best advocate. It's your body, your life.

Thanks for sharing Angie :)