book: The Best for You

Adoption is about love for the child, not that the child was not wanted. This heart warming book is aimed to help children and parents understand what one birth mother was thinking when she decided to adopt. Written in her perspective, she tells her child the reasons why she chose adoption for her baby. A great conversation starter for parents, or companion book for adopted children to discuss with other children, this is a unique journey for any child of any age.

Kelsey Stewart is a first time Author/Illustrator who has a unique perspective into adoption. She has been through two adoptions as a birth mother and hopes that this book will help children and adults everywhere understand why a mother might choose to place her child for adoption. Kelsey has lived a full, productive and happy life since her journey as a mother began and considers herself incredibly blessed. She currently resides in Southern California with her husband and their two sons.

Two Little Girls: A Memoir of Adoption

In Chicago, Theresa Reid and her husband had lucrative careers and a beautiful home. What was missing from their lives was children. But they knew in Eastern Europe, there were children who were missing parents-and they set out to find their family. This is Theresa's account of how Natalie and Lana came to be her daughters-a journey that takes readers not only to Moscow and Kiev but into the deepest parts of a mother's heart. Reid addresses the issues that arise for many an adoptive parent- including the guilt over taking children away from their roots, and the slow, stumbling steps toward trust and tenderness that played out between them. For any parent, adoptive or not, this book offers not only a compelling story but valuable insights into the transformative power of loving a child.

Just came across this, anyone read it yet? feel free to comment.

I was Googling 'adopt a healthy child' and came across this post So You Want to Adopt a Healthy Infant. Which caught my attention with the first paragraph

These days, when people say they want to adopt a healthy infant, they receive dirty looks from some in the adoption community. “Why not adopt one of the hundreds of thousands of children waiting in foster care?” people ask. “Why not adopt one of the millions or orphans from around the world?”

If you want to adopt a healthy infant, some insinuate that you’re an adoption traitor. They imply that you should be more altruistic and less selfish than to desire what every parent who gives birth wants: a healthy baby.

See the rest of the post here...

Adoptive Families magazine

I just received my first issue. I will have to see a few more issues, but I wish there was more information about pre-adoption stuff rather than post-adoption, it's about 25:75. I got a one year subscription, maybe in that time I will switch to a post-adoption reader!

a letter & a book

Today I received the following letter, I hope the author won’t mind me sharing it with my readers:

Dear Julie,

Hi! Just happened upon your blog and am so glad I did. Never give up! We waited over seven years for our baby. I can honestly tell you that once your miracle happens, you forget about all the years of pain. I truly believe that God has a master plan.

I'm hoping that you might include my recently published book on your blog as a humanistic story that provides infertile couples with answers to questions on what they can do to give themselves the best chance to become pregnant so they do not have happen to them what happened to us.

After seeing 7 gynecologists, enduring 6 surgeries and years and years of medications, injections and consultations, we were blessed with two wonderful daughters. It was one "infertility experts" incorrect dosage of medication that caused my endometriosis to return to its initial severity rendering me virtually unable to ever physically carry a baby. Although at the time very painful, infertility turned out to be a blessing in disguise for my husband and me.

Adoption was a miracle for us and, as our girls are now grown, independent young ladies now, I can say with total certainty that it was a beautiful way to successfully become a family. Our older daughter, Elyssa, a 3rd year anesthesiology resident, recently told us that once she completes her residency she wants to move closer to us as there's "nothing like the love of family." Our younger daughter, Julie, was recently married and, although she lives out of state, we talk many times daily and visit one another frequently. We could not love two children more and it is definitely true that they grew in my heart.

The book I wrote with prominent NYC infertility expert Masood Khatamee, entitled Doctor, Are You Listening? ( A Couple's Struggle To Find The Right Infertility Doctor) chronicles our struggle with infertility and depicts the entire adoption process. The many religious roadblocks and difficulties we encountered are described, as well as the birth of a baby that was to be ours whose biological mother changed her mind two days before we were to adopt her. The joy of our two daughters adoptions are included. Resources, options and choices are given. The book provides women with ways to recognize if their doctor is the best one for them and signs to look for to tell if he or she is truly listening.

Hopefully, the book will provide a heart warming story, coupled with medical advise, to those wishing to conceive or to those interested in adoption. I would be very appreciative if you would pass along the name of the book on your blog. It is available at many Barnes and Noble Bookstores and at amazon.com. You can actually pull up the table of contents on amazon.com to get a better overview of what is included.

I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Linda Perelman Pohl

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Here is the book

Doctor are You Listening?
A Couple’s Struggle to Find
the Right Infertility Doctor
by Dr. Masood Khatamee & Linda Perelman Pohl
copyright November 2008

From Barnes & Noble:

Finding the right doctor is essential. Whether an infertile woman ever conceives is often dependent on the doctor she chooses. Although Linda presented with common symptoms associated with infertility, Dr. A. Loof, a 'specialist,' told her that her pain was 'in her mind' and suggested she drink wine to rectify her problem. An incorrect medication dosage, prescribed by Dr. Doubtful, caused her disease to return to its initial severity. Years of consultations, medications, surgeries and emotional pain and she was back where she had started. Her insides were a mess. The importance of women knowing their choices and empowering themselves at doctor's visits is imperative. Our book provides resources and options for any couple struggling with infertility. Dr. Khatamee, a world-renowned infertility specialist, describes what should have been done and presents numerous case studies. He discusses the most current tests available, what each entails and when testing should commence. The prevention of infertility and preservation of fertility are addressed.Doctors need to listen to their patients and be held accountable for their actions. Doctor, Are You Listening?

I have not read this book, but I wanted to share it with my readers, especially my girls at the Fertility Forum, because I know many of us have similar stories. It is not unlike my own. Yes, Linda has asked for a little free PR, but I am touched that she reached out to me with her support and also considers my blog an outlet to reach other women. j

books i got for Christmas

The Ultimate Insider’s Guide to Adoption:
Everything You Need to Know about Domestic and International Adoption
by Elizabeth Swire Falker
copyright 2006

From Barnes & Noble:

So you've made the decision to adopt. What's next? For starters, how do you know whether domestic or international adoption is right for you? (And what are the real differences between the two?) Now, adoption insider Elizabeth Swire Falker answers these questions, and many more. As an attorney who practices in the area of adoption and has worked with hundreds of families, and as an adoptive parent herself who has been through the trenches, she offers expert advice on each stage of the process. This comprehensive, accessible guide leads you with confidence through every decision you'll have to make—including the ones that you'd never know to expect. Complete with checklists, tips, sidebars, and plenty of counterintuitive advice, it shows you how to:

• Identify which adoption experts you do and don't need
• Find the right birth mother or choose the right country for your family—and how to spot red flags in potential situations
• Select an attorney or agency and prepare for your home visit
• Finance an adoption on a budget, manage the red tape, and get around the roadblocks
• Navigate all of the complex emotions that surface along the way.

With Elizabeth Swire Falker's warm yet been-there-done-that voice, The Ultimate Insider's Guide to Adoption is sure to become a tried-and-true resource for adoptive parents everywhere.

The Baby Signing book:
Includes 350 ASL Signs for Babies & Toddlers

by Sara Bingham
copyright 2007

From Barnes & Noble

Babies can communicate with sign language well before they can talk. This user-friendly book, including 300 illustrated ASL signs, shows how with clear instructions, memory aids, charts, song and games, and fun.

the adoption guide

Our social worker suggested we get ourselves a copy of this "Adoption Guide" published by the people who publish the magazine "Adoptive Families." It's about $15 but she says it's full of great information. And it looks like they update it each year, so the information is current. I sent in for a subscription to "Adoptive Families" some time and it's never come, guess I'll call and try to talk to a human and order both.

The Adoption Guide

(note to self: ordered 12.9.08)

what to expect

Ok, so maybe I'm getting a bit excited here, but I figured what the heck, I read "What to Expect When you are Expecting" over eight years ago. I may be able to read this at least three or four times before we actually have a baby.

I bought it second hand (recycled) for $6 so it wasn't a huge investment. I have refrained from purchasing anything else baby related (aside from two baby outfits I purchased eight years ago that are probably so totally out of style now and my baby wouldn't be caught wearing them outside the house, and a bib that says "Bebe" that may still prove useful).

The Whole Life Adoption Book

The Whole Life Adoption Book:
Realistic Advice for Building a Healthy Adoptive Family

by Jayne E. Schooler & Thomas C. Atwood
copyright 2008

I was looking for a book on adoption that had been published recently (2008) and found this. So far, I recommend it.

From Barnes & Noble:

The Whole Life Adoption Book has long been an indispensable guide for prospective parents of adopted children and blended families. Now this unique resource is available in a revised and updated edition. Author Jayne E. Schooler shares insights into every aspect of adoption, from vital issues to introductory questions, including:

• Updated information on the adoption process, both in the U.S. and internationally
• An in-depth look at the developmental stages of adoption for families and children
• The impact of adoption on birth children in the family
• Practical parenting suggestions to handle the unique needs in caring for an adoptive child

With wisdom and compassion, this powerful book addresses the needs and concerns facing adoptive parents, offering encouragement for the journey ahead.

books i bought yesterday

The Complete Adoption Book
by Laura Beauvias-Godwin & Raymond Godwin, Esq.
copyright 2005
(thanks to Stephanie for the recommendation!!!)

10.25.08 I want to add that this is a BIG book (690 pages!) and I find it very strange that the part about the home study is in the center of the book (page 306), I would have thought that would be at the beginning. I also find it frustrating that it was last updated in 2005.

Labor of the Heart:
A Parent's Guide to the Decisions
and Emotions in Adoption
by Kathleen L. Whitten, Ph.D
copyright 2008

10.25.08 I am liking this one too. It is a little more warm and fuzzy, rather than all business, if that makes any sense.

a book by Jamie Lee Curtis

When a young girl asks her parents about the first night of her life, she wants to know every detail. Was she tiny and perfect? How did her parents feel during their first night together? Why had her mommy and daddy decided to adopt her? Funny, tender, and altogether exuberant, here is one family’s celebration of their first cherished moments together.

Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born is a heartwarming story, not only of how one child is born but of how a family is born.

A note from Jamie: Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born is a celebration of adoption and belonging to a family. Both of my children are adopted, and Tell Me Again is about the experience of adoption from a child's point of view. The fact that the book has been so embraced by the adoption community has been a bonus that I did not expect.

Find this book at the Jamie Lee Curtis website and on Amazon.com

a book by Sharon Liddle

Sharon wrote this story in Spring 2003 during a trip to Ukraine. She had an interesting experience and the word wombat was part of a conversation and seemed unique and appropriate. That was the year Sharon met her daughter Katy. This story is dedicated to the orphanage and the family Sharon traveled with. Her daughter will tell you that it is her life story. It is at the publisher now.

I will let you know when it's available for purchase. Sharon in planning on writing many more books. I've had the honor of seeing a proof of the book and it is beautifully written and illustrated.

Visit Sharon's website: The Elijah Foundation

The Mommy Orphanage

What if there was a Mommy Orphanage where moms lived until a child visited to pick them out and take them home to be their mom?

The Mommy Orphanage was created by the mother and daughter team of Cheryl and Emily Krass. When Emily was five years old, she imagined the concept of a Mommy Orphanage and Cheryl expanded it into a book. Cheryl loved the unusual twist of the story and just knew it needed to be shared.

The Mommy Orphanage presents a unique twist on the international adoption story. While many children’s adoption stories are told from the point of view of parents as they portray the story of their journey to bring their new baby home, The Mommy Orphanage unfolds from a child’s perspective.

Emily was born in 2001 in the Guangdong Province of China in a city called Gaozhou. She spent the first 9 months of her life living in an orphanage called the Gaozhou Social Welfare Institute. In June of 2002, her parents Cheryl and Louis Krass, along with big brother Alex (who was 10 at the time), traveled to China to adopt Emily and bring her home to her new family.

The Mommy Orphanage website