Thursday, December 9, 2010

I have moved (my blog that is)

I will no longer be posting anything new on this blog. I will leave it live for those wishing to learn about the adoption process since that's what my original intention was.

You may find me posting on my new blog called Beyond Infertility.

I will still receive email notification if you comment on this blog and I will respond as needed.

Thanks to everyone for your support and love during the life of this blog.

I wish you all the best.


Thursday, December 2, 2010

end of our journey

It is with great regret that I write to let you know we had our final FET on Nov. 4 and it failed.

After doing some research, I asked the lab if we could "grow" our 3-day embryos to 5-day embryos to improve our chances. The lab director agreed that this could show who the best/healthiest embryos are.

We thawed all ten remaining embryos. Nine survived.

We "challenged" the nine 3-day embryos to 5 days. Two of them grew to blastocysts and and showed improved quality. One made it to the Morula stage (nearly blastocyst). So we transferred three.

We donated the six remaining embryos to our lab for research, with the blessing of the donors.

I was in a lot of pain during the 2ww. Our RE said that was HOPEFULLY a sign that my uterus was adjusting to the embryos implanting. I dreampt that all three split and I was pregnant with SIX!!!

Friday, Nov. 19 the sever pain landed me in the local ER where they determined I have a hemorrhagic cyst that is about 2.5" big. It is the least life-threatening type, but the most painful. Leave it to me. They think it might have been caused by the Lupron and/or hormones I was on, but there is really no way of knowing.

I was in bed for the next 10 days, but had to return to work on Monday, Nov. 29 due to lack of paid leave. The doctor's aren't sure how long this cyct will last. Yesterday the doctor told me "weeks" but it's already bee WEEKS! I am on pain medication.

Maybe the pain is a blessing, it's kept my mind off the fact that we are now faced with a life without children, something neither of us want.

We are brokenhearted beyond words. How can this be? 11+ years and we end up without any children? Life just seems so incredibly, incredibly unfair.