MTV's 16 and Pregnant - Season Two

MTV asked if I'd post this to my blog, of course I'm happy to oblige and help get the word out.

MTV’S “16 AND PREGNANT” DOCUMENTS THE CHALLENGES OF TEEN PREGNANCY IN SECOND SEASON PREMIERING FEBRUARY 16th AT 10 PM ET/PT

“Teen Mom Finale Special: Check-Up with Dr. Drew”
Airs February 2nd Followed by “Teen Mom: Unseen Moments”
on February 9th, both at 10pm ET/PT

New York, NY – January 25, 2010 – MTV continues to give viewers an inside look at one of the most controversial and thought-provoking topics in a second season of the popular MTV docu-series, “16 and Pregnant.” The new season premieres Tuesday, February 16th at 10pm ET/PT with ten one-hour episodes. Additionally, MTV will air the 90 minute “Teen Mom” finale on Tuesday, January 26th, followed by the “Teen Mom Finale Special: Check-Up with Dr. Drew” on Tuesday, February 2nd and “Teen Mom: Unseen Moments” on Tuesday, February 9th, all at 10pm ET/PT.

With statistics showing that three in ten girls in the U.S. will get pregnant before the age of 20, “16 and Pregnant” looks inside the lives of ten teenagers as they face the challenges that come with being a young parent. For 5-7 months, the series follows these teens as they navigate the unfamiliar territory and uncertainty of being pregnant. MTV captures every moment and reaction in real-time, including several of the births. From a cheerleader expecting twins to a young girl grappling with a potential family adoption, the new season tackles tough issues including strained relationships, balancing school with new responsibilities, gossip, health issues and financial hardships. Cameras continue to follow the teens for a significant amount of time after they gave birth to document how they cope with taking care of their infants while trying to maintain a semblance of their teenage life.

In the “Teen Mom Finale Special: Check-Up with Dr. Drew,” Dr. Drew Pinsky catches up with the cast of “Teen Mom” to reflect on the struggles of their first year of motherhood and reveal what’s happened since. From heartwarming to heartbreaking, Maci, Farrah, Catelynn and Amber, four of the young mothers featured in the first season of “16 and Pregnant,” openly discuss everything from struggles with mental health issues and a potential pregnancy to broken engagements and new proposals. Each young woman’s story will continue to grip viewers of all ages as this 90 minute issue-driven special reflects on the trials these young parents have faced. Also hosted by Dr. Drew, “Teen Mom: Unseen Moments” will bring viewers behind-the-scenes, unseen moments from the first season of “Teen Mom.”

According to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, more than 700,000 teenage girls in the U.S. become pregnant each year. The vast majority of these pregnancies are unintended. Despite the availability of sex education and access to contraception, the United States has the highest rate of teen pregnancy and teen birth in the entire developed world.

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy is working with MTV to support "16 and Pregnant." In partnership with MTV, The National Campaign will continue to create viewing guides for each episode so educators, key organizations and individuals can use the show, which will be available rights free for distribution, as a platform to have an honest discussion around sexual health and pregnancy with teens. Additionally, The National Campaign launched an online resource supporting the show at www.stayteen.org to answer viewers' most commonly asked questions surrounding pregnancy and provide young people with the information they need to be fully informed on this topic.

As part of MTV and the Kaiser Family Foundation's It's Your (Sex) Life campaign, viewers can also find resources on how to make responsible decisions about sex, insight into what to do if you think you could be pregnant, are pregnant or had unprotected sex, and information on how to choose and use contraception properly on www.ItsYourSexLife.com.

Online, MTV.com will continue to offer exclusive scenes you didn’t see on-air, sneak peeks, blog updates from the moms, and exclusive original content only available on 16andPregnant.MTV.com and TeenMom.MTV.com, which will feature exclusive post reunion interviews with the entire cast.

“16 and Pregnant” and “Teen Mom” are Executive Produced by Morgan J Freeman. Tony DiSanto is President of Programming for MTV. Dia Sokol is Co-Executive Producer. Liz Gateley and Lauren Dolgen are Executives in charge for MTV. Jessica Zalkind is Executive for MTV. Concept by Lauren Dolgen.

Executive Producer Morgan J. Freeman (MTV's Taking The Stage, Laguna Beach,) made a name for himself as the Sundance award-winning writer/director of Hurricane Streets, a film centered on the trials and tribulations of teenage life. Freeman’s recent film, Just Like the Son, starring Mark Webber, Brendan Sexton III and Rosie Perez, will be released on DVD January 26th.

About Dr. Drew Pinsky:
The most listened to doctor in America, Dr. Drew is the host of the nationally syndicated radio show “Loveline,” where he has taken calls from listeners since 1982. Dr. Drew, who still runs a private practice, is also an internist who is board certified in addiction medicine and is an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Keck USC School of Medicine. Using media to deliver information, Dr. Drew often appears on television and radio programs to talk about sex, relationships, and addiction. Recently, Dr. Drew teamed up with MTV to help teens and parents get to the root of their problems surrounding the taboo topic of sex in the groundbreaking series, “Sex…with Mom and Dad.” Additionally, Dr. Drew is New York Times best-selling author of The Mirror Effect: How Celebrity Narcissism Is Seducing America.

About The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy:
The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy is a private, non-profit, non-partisan organization that seeks to improve the lives and future prospects of children and families. Our specific strategy is to prevent teen pregnancy and unplanned pregnancy so that a higher proportion of babies are born into wanted and welcoming circumstances. The National Campaign supports a combination of responsible behavior by men and women and responsible policies in the public and private sectors. Find out more at www.thenationalcampaign.org or www.stayteen.org.

response from a Haitian orphanage

We really appreciate all of the people who are interested in helping and adopting the orphaned kids from Haiti.

But here’s what the realities are at the moment:

• We don’t know when the Haitian government will be able to begin processing new adoptions.
• We don’t know when the Haitian government will be reestablished enough to either reaffirm existing rules or set up new ones.
• We don’t know how long and under what situations the orphaned status of the new children being brought to us will be able to be determined.
• The newly orphaned children may very well have a biological family who may be looking for them. We cannot send the children out of the country until the families have had a chance to look for them. Right now, that's very difficult because there is no public transportation and very little phone service.
• More than likely, the children will have to be declared legally orphaned by the Haitian courts, and that will take some time.
• Our immediate goal is to get the children out that have adoptive families already, so we can make room in the orphanage for the new orphans.
• If there is a government sponsored foster care plan, it will probably be handled by UNICEF.

There are just too many things that we don’t know. So, until we know more, we can’t accept applications for adoptions. As soon as we are able to accept applications, we will post on our web page, along with the criteria to adopt. You can write to me at that time and I’ll send you the adoption information.

But we do need help in many ways besides for that at the moment. If you would like to help in other ways, please let me know.

something else I've learned and wanted to share

When you are looking at photolistings of kids in foster care, just because there photo is posted there does not mean that child is available for adoption from foster care.

We've figured out it's like some job postings, they are planning to hire from within, but still must post the job for the public. They already have chosen a family for these kids, but for some reason must post their photolistings.

I check many state's sites regularly, so I see some kids as soon as they are posted, inquire, only to find they have already been placed. I find this very curious.

AND

In our state, Virginia, it is not mandatory to take any classes to complete your home study. So we haven't had classes of any kind, just home visits, fingerprinting, physicals, background check, financial check, CPS check, etc. And in Virginia our home study is good for three years. In some other states, home studies are only good for one year. So we may have problems with the one-year states accepting our three-year home study. Wouldn't you think it would all be more standardized?

So we are hoping to take some foster parenting classes so we can add it to our home study report, kinda like improving our adoption résumé to better our chances.

Also, some states won't consider us because we have no "parenting experience." Hello! We cannot have children. So, if we do foster parent for a while we can add that as parenting experience.

Why oh why does this need to be so complicated. There are children who need a home and we have a home to offer.

God's Littlest Angels

If you've watched "Adoption Stories" on Discovery Health, chances are you've seen Dixie Bickel at her orphanage in Haiti.

Many people have suggested that we look into adopting from Haiti this past week, but due to the uncertainty that currently rules in Haiti, adoption applications are not being accepted at this time.

I wanted to post a link to Dixie's orphanage, so you can read a first-hand account of what's going on in Haiti.

update

We started our journey hoping to adopt an abandoned baby from the hospital where my aunt works. Then we looked into private open adoption and found out that it's something “normal” people simply cannot afford.

So, for the past six months or more I have been searching the internet and children who are in foster care and free for adoption (meaning their parent's rights have already been terminated for one reason or another).

Our social worker has suggested we get certified as foster parents for a couple of reasons. This will allow us to get some parenting under our belt and we can add that to our home study. She also stressed that the majority of children who are adopted from foster are adopted by their foster parents.

I'm still wishing someone would just leave a baby in a basket on our doorstep. A girl can dream.

I turn 45 in April and I'm having a lot of stress and anxiety over this fact and the fact that I'm still not a mom, and I don't want people asking me if I'm my child's grandmother!!! And we started trying to get pregnant when I was 34! Who knew!!!

That's my story, and I'm stickin to it!

it's my blog and I'll post if I want to!

Thank you for all your kind words, support and encouragement. I will continue to blog about our adoption journey and try not to let those commenters get to me!

I am happy to know that I do have loyal readers, and as at the beginning of my blogging, I hope someone can learn something about adoption from our journey.

j

Foster Care Adoption Myths & Misperceptions

Foster Care Adoption Myths & Misperceptions

This just came to my Facebook page from AdoptUsKids.com, and it's from the Dave Thomas Foundation website. Some of the facts:

• Foster care adoption is often at little or no expense. Click here for further information on the costs to adopt.
• Children enter the foster care system through no fault of their own, as victims of neglect, abandonment or abuse.
• Virtually every valid study has concluded that children of gays and lesbians adjust positively and their families function well with their children’s outcomes comparable to those of heterosexuals.
• 23 percent of adopted children live with an adoptive parent 55 years or older.

anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I received your comment today. This is the first contact I've had from you. I have done as you requested.

j

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


Dear Readers,

I am no longer allowing comments from Anonymous. I'm afraid I may no longer allow comments at all and may give up the blog altogether.

j

me, a happy day, a day without thinking

Have you seen me? This is me. That is my husband in the glasses, and those are our friends Rob and John.

I cannot recall seeing myself happy. I look very happy in this photo. I was very happy.

It was a day.

A day without injecting myself with infertility drugs.
A day without mourning the loss of my three unborn babies.
A day without wondering if I was going to get my period.
A day without combing the internet in search of children to inquire about.
A day without waiting for a phone call from our social worker.
A day without thinking that I'm getting older with each passing day.
A day without wondering if people will ask me if I'm my child's grandma.
A day without wondering if we will ever have children.
A day without wondering why I here.
A day without wondering why I cannot carry a baby full term.
A day without worrying what's wrong with me.
A day without tears.

I haven't had a day like that in ten years.

hoping, waiting, learning

Ok, so I've learned a few things about adopting from foster care that I want to share.

I've learned that we do not get all the information about the child or children up front. If we are chosen as potential adoptive parents, at that time, we will get full disclosure on the child or children.

So some listings say "all home study approved parents will be considered" or something similar. We've been waiting to hear about a 5 year old boy. I finally contacted his social worker yesterday to see what the status is. They have decided to narrow down their search to adoptive parents who live within three hours of the child's current home. That's us out. I thanked the social worker and said it is very helpful for us to know this type of information because we are always left wondering why we weren't chosen and it's difficult not to take it personally. This beautiful boy is in Idaho so we have no chance.

I guess they cast the wide net and then decide, so the don't rule out the perfect parents who happen to be 3.5 hours away. One the one hand it seems a little unfair, but I can understand and remind myself we do what what's best for the child or children. That said, it's not making the waiting any easier.

Also, just heard from our social worker before Christmas. She said that maybe we should become licensed foster parents because she thinks some states are not considering us as adoptive parents because we aren't licensed foster parents. Hello? That would have been nice to know A YEAR AGO!!!!

After all the adoptions that have taken place, we just continue to be disappointed in our social worker and her lack of knowledge in how the system works. We'd love to change social workers, but that would mean an entirely new home study - back to step one - a more cash.

The process is frustrating to say the least. I hope we find our child/ children soon. My 45 birthday is looming large. I never wanted to be an "old mom," but I guess I'm way passed that now, unless we adopted a 20 year old.

I wish there was a central location for us potential adoptive parents to wait to be chosen. The mommy orphanage. Where the kid's social workers could search for us. There are so so so many kids out there, we just never imagined it would be so difficult for ours to find us :(

One of the unexpected benefits of this blog has been the support I have received from my readers, especially during difficult times (like now). For that I do thank you. The support has, fortunately, by far outweighed the mean commenters.

So for all your support, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Many of you have really touched my heart. And at times your comments have made my day.

I don't think I expected this journey to be so difficult. So thank you for your support!

my blog

So, I've been thinking a lot about this blog lately, and my original purpose for this blog. That was to journal about our adoption experience so our family and friends could follow along.

Well, the best laid plans of mice and men. . .

I can tell you, this blog is not intended to be a profile of us for birthmoms. Though I do know some birthmoms read it and I appreciate their advise and insight.

What this blog has become (I hope) is a record of our journey to adoption. Something that others who are on the same journey or who take the journey in the future can learn from. But. . .

It is also not just that. This blog has become many things. It's not just sharing of information, thought it has long been my belief that if I know 10 things and you know 10 things together we know 20.

I am getting things from this blog that I never expected. I get so much support from my dear readers, it warms me heart. I've decided I cannot let a few mean commenters run me off the road. If they don't like my blog, they don't have to read it. It's that simple.

I have tried to be honest about our journey. Our journey has changed since it started. We survived the home study and I hope others who have it ahead of them find my posts helpful.

We'd so hopped to be able to adopt a newborn, but we were just clueless about the cost associated with adopting a newborn. There has been a lot of learning.

We are now hoping to adopt from foster care, from one of the state's systems.

When we did our home study, we were told it was valid for three years. Our first year will be up on December 24, 2009. I recently found out that some states only consider one year home studies, so that means either we cannot adopt from those states OR we have to renew our home study every year. Good grief. We never imagined it would take us over a year to adopt, especially when we realized we would not be able to adopt a newborn.

We are currently waiting to hear about one little girl, one little boy and two sets of brothers (did I say that before? in a precious post - if so, sorry). I feel a bit piggy when we are inquiring about so many children, but after a year of inquiring, I'd say we've inquired on probably over 60 children. What IS wrong with us? Why doesn't anyone want us? Our social worker says it's because so many people want to adopt children age 5 and under, so there is a big pool of us, and few children in that age range.

So that's the update. We wait. We were told at the start that it could take up to 2 years to adopt, we just never imagined it would.

I keep waiting and hoping.

holidays schmallidays

I admit it, I'm having a very difficult time.

I miscarried in a December and I had a baby due in December of another year. I'm not currently a fan of December. The holidays are very difficult for me. We had a nice Thanksgiving with friends but our Christmas has been turned inside out, so we are going away.

I dread the holidays. It marks the passing of time. Another Christmas, childless. It's been a year and a half since we started our adoption journey. We were sure we would have been adopted by now. But we continue to wait.

Currently we are waiting to hear about two sets of brothers, one little girl and one little boy. Someone has to want us.

I had email from a friend who has adopted a beautiful boy. She assured me that after we adopt, I won't think of the miscarriages or the missed due dates. I will be able to move passed the tragedies that I currently dwell on.

I don't even like to Christmas shop any more.

Right now, I'd just like to jump ahead a month, which makes me a bit sad because I always loved the holidays.

I try to look ahead to future holidays, when we have a child (or two) and we can celebrate together, as a family.

Dear reader, I wish you and your family happy holidays, I will try not to be away so long again, but there's been nothing to report.

two sides to every coin

I have tried very hard to understand things from the birth mom's side, or maybe some of you hadn't noticed (obviously by some of the comments that I get and chose to delete rather than post for all to see).

I have become friends with birth moms, just as I am friends with adoptees. I try to understand everyone's point of view.

I cannot imagine what it would be like to make an adoption plan for my child.

I cannot imagine what it would be like to give birth, because I am not able to carry a baby to full term.

I have been getting some ugly comments.

Some of you cannot imagine what it is like to not be able to carry a baby full term. Did you ever think of that? You ask me to think of how difficult it is for the birth mom making an adoption plan for her unborn baby. I do. I have. Have you ever given any thought to what it's like to be a women who is unable to have children? You might want to consider thinking about it.

As in life, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all. I will not post your comment, so kindly keep it to yourself.

My blog is for friends and family and strangers to follow along our journey to adopt. I hope to educate some about adoption as well as learn from kind commenters.

Thank you.

bad news . . . again

Just found out we were not chosen to parent the baby due December 20. We were really hoping.

Well, we really hope for EVERY child, but particularly this one. The birth mom is in our state.

It is difficult to find the courage to go on, but we will. We want a family more than anything else in the world.

We will find our child/children.

adoption awareness

just came across this great, informative site about adoption awareness:

ADOPTION AWARENESS

Contact Person:
Professor Cynthia R. Mabry
(202) 806-8067
cmabry@law.howard.edu

HOWARD UNIVERSITY SCHOOL OF LAW
2900 Van Ness Street, NW
Washington, DC 20008

"Welcome to Howard University School of Law’s Adoption Awareness web site! This site is designed to promote adoption of children in the child welfare system in the Washington Metropolitan Area including the District of Columbia, Maryland, and Northern Virginia. The child welfare system was chosen because a majority of the children who are waiting to be adopted are in the public child welfare systems in these states. This site offers general information about the adoption process, adoption laws, local adoption agencies, adoption attorneys, and selected national web sites that provide a wealth of information about children who are available for adoption and the child welfare system..."

waiting, waiting and then, some more waiting

I'm growing weary of all the waiting. We inquire about a child and wait. And wait. And wait. And then wait some more. And I think "this is it, this is our child." But no, we hear nothing. We just wait.

We are still waiting to hear about the baby who is due December 20. Yes, all my eggs are in that basket. I WANT that baby. The birth mom is in our state. It's a perfect situation and she is looking for someone with 2 big dogs. We have 2 big dogs and Annie the puppy. Should I call her attorney and let him know we adopted Annie? Would that swing things our way?

And then there's A, who's matching meeting is Nov. 19. We are waiting to hear about her too.

The exercise of finding a child to adopt is so much like job hunting. When you find the job you want, you want to stop looking, but what if you don't get offered that job.

I feel like I betray some of the children when we inquire about more.

Then I remind myself, it's not about finding a child for us, it's about finding a home for a child. That is not like job hunting.

So we will wait, and wait, and wait some more.

I cannot believe we've been waiting 10 years to be parents, and one year to adopt. Last year we were sure we'd adopt a child before last Christmas, and here we are, a year later, waiting.

It's been three years since my last miscarriage. I still hold out a tiny hope that the myth about adoption is true, that everyone gets pregnant after they adopt. We would like at least two children. Why does this have to be so hard for us, so difficult.

We have spent so much time and money trying to become parents. Why couldn't it be easy, natural. What are we supposed to be learning from this. Why us. Why me.

I won't give up.

unexpected adoption

Meet Annie. She is 6 weeks old. A friend of a friend found her wandering out of a corn field and into the road. She is now the newest and youngest member of our pack. The other two four-leggeds aren't sure what to make of her.

We think this is a good learning experience for the entire pack. For the humans, we were up all night last night with a crying Annie. The four-leggeds just don't know what to make of her and the pack has changed. I'm hoping this will help them adjust when we add another two-legged to our pack.

While we CONTINUE to WAIT to adopt, Annie is a bright ray of sunshine in our day (ehem and NIGHT! - we are thinking of it as practice!).

She may be just what we needed to weather the wait.

Transition time in our house :)

-----> November 19 <-----

This is A, the 4-year-old girl, we are waiting to here about.

November 19 is the date of the "matching conference" for A.

This means they (her social worker and coworkers) will have already narrowed down the candidates to several homestudies. Then they narrow them down again in the "matching conference." Usually during that time they call the social worker to ask additional questions about the family. That's usually done as part of a conference call. Once a couple families have been picked they give the families full disclosure to see if they feel this is a good match for them. Then they pick the best family for the child.

Only the final candidate(s) meets the child. Then they spend some time with the child to make sure it's the right match. Usually an afternoon, then a day, then an over night. We will need to go where A is for a week to 10 days, should we be lucky enough to be chosen as the final candidates.

* Yes, we do find it curious that in this day and age, all they have is a black and white photo of A... hmmmm...

12.14.09 update: A's matching conference has been postponed until sometime in January. A family member may be interested in adopting A. Good news for A!

waiting and more waiting

We are currently waiting to hear about these 3 sisters. How can you NOT fall in love?

11.4.09 update: we are NOT ELIGIBLE to adopt these sweet sisters because we have no parenting experience! They are looking for a family who has a teenage daughter. ACK!

October 15: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

According to a 2004 National Vital Statistics Report issued by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), in 2000, 15.6% or 1,003,000 of the 6,401,000 pregnancies in the United States ended in either a miscarriage or stillbirth; the CDC also indicates that in 2003 the number of live births in the United States was 4,093,000; of those births, 27,500 ended in the death of an infant under the age of one.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is to promote Support, Education and Awareness for grieving parents nationwide (and worldwide).

Too many families grieve in silence, sometimes never coming to terms with their loss. Our goal is to help others relate to our loss, know what to say, do or not say, not do and to help families live with their loss, not "get over" their loss.

from http://www.october15th.com/

We lost 3 babies. I think of them often.

8,300 visits

Ok, so when I started this over a year ago, I never imagined I'd STILL be blogging about the process of adoption a year later! Good grief!

This week I've been thinking about taking the bad with the good. We are considering children age 0–5. I've been trying to process this. On the good side, we may not have to go through potty training drama, on the bad side, we could have a child/children who don't wanna call us mom and dad for awhile. I could go on, but I won't. These are just the two I've been pondering as of late.

We inquired about 3 sisters this week. Ages 5, 6 & 7. I asked our social worker (SW) to submit our home study report, as you do. I got email back from her asking how we expected to provide for 3 girls. I was like wha??? How quickly she forgets. A few months ago she called and told us about 3 kids who needed a home, I asked her how she expected us to provide for 3 children. That's when she told us about adopting from social services and that we'd get a stipend for each child until they are 18 as well as help with medical until the adoption was complete.

I reminded SW of this. She was like oh, I'd just come in and I wasn't making the connection. Hello? who did you think I was??? AAARRRRRRGGGGGGG! with a big Peanut's mouth!!!

So this afternoon I hear back from SW that these 3 girls are only available to families who have children and/or experience with adoption. Why would the leave that most important piece of information out of the girl's profile???

I feel sad. People ask me "what about the baby from NY?" "what about the boy from Ohio?" and I can't remember. Sadly, it's similar to applying for jobs: you only hear back from the one's you are being considered for. No news is bad news.

We are just normal people. We live in a smallish house in the country. We don't drive fancy cars. We shop at Old Navy and Trader Joe's. No Starbucks. We have 2 dogs. We just what a family. Why is that SO hard for us?

At dinner overheard a conversation at the table near us, it went something like this: "but she's THIRTY-THREE AND PREGNANT!!! AND they've been trying for SEVEN YEARS! She's just too old..." Yes, I remained seated, no, I did not embarrass my husband.

“adoption as reality series”

A reality series...it took months to figure out the details.

Adoption Diaries, a new original series on WEtv explores the process behind privately held open adoptions. The series, which premiered September 12, showcases the matching process between the couples and expectant mothers who turn to open adoption.

Each episode follows a different story from the beginning stages, as a birth mother is faced with choosing her baby's future family. Throughout the series Dr. Jennifer Bliss (National Associate Counseling Director and Southern California Branch Co-Director at the Independent Adoption Center) works to match the birthmothers with the right families...

read more here

not what i had planned

Ok, so how old am I now? 44.

I've learned a couple of important things rather late in life:

1. life is not fair (learn it early)
2. this is not what i had planned

The first is simple enough. Life is not fair. We should all be taught this from a very young age. When you children say (er whine?) "but it's not fair" please reprogram them to say "life's not fair." because life IS not fair.

Maybe I learned it earlier in life, but it's just now sinking in. We plan to earch our children from an early age that life is not fair.

Ok, on to #2 and this is not what I had planned. At 27, I'd completely given up on ever finding Mr. Right and getting married. I planned to be a single mom and get artificially inseminated someday. (I met my husband in Paris in my 30th year.)

We started trying to get pregnant when I was 34 years old, yes, 10 years ago. This life is so not what I'd planned, not what we'd planned. We thought by now that's we'd have three kids (for the record, I have been pregnant 3 times).

Recently I went to a friend's baby shower. She is 40 and single. She said to me "this is so not what I had planned."

I am in touch with an old boy friend. He found himself divorced and trying to date when he was 36. He said to me "that was so not what I had planned." (He has since remarried and he and his wife adopted a boy from Russia.)

You thought you'd never be married.
You thought you'd never divorce.
You thought you'd have kids.
You thought you'd never have kids.


Life is just never what anyone plans. It's not just me. It's not just my life that isn't going as planned. It's not just my life that isn't fair. No one's life is fair. No one's life is what they'd planned.

Living and learning while we wait to adopt.

book: The Best for You

Adoption is about love for the child, not that the child was not wanted. This heart warming book is aimed to help children and parents understand what one birth mother was thinking when she decided to adopt. Written in her perspective, she tells her child the reasons why she chose adoption for her baby. A great conversation starter for parents, or companion book for adopted children to discuss with other children, this is a unique journey for any child of any age.

Kelsey Stewart is a first time Author/Illustrator who has a unique perspective into adoption. She has been through two adoptions as a birth mother and hopes that this book will help children and adults everywhere understand why a mother might choose to place her child for adoption. Kelsey has lived a full, productive and happy life since her journey as a mother began and considers herself incredibly blessed. She currently resides in Southern California with her husband and their two sons.

From Infertility to Adoption: Knowing When to Move Forward

When is the right time to move from infertility to adoption? When do you emotionally feel ready? Will you ever feel ready and must move forward with other ways of creating your forever family! Mardie Caldwell, through her personal experience and over 20 years of working with couples nation-wide, has made it her life's work to bless children needing forever adoptive parents....

from usaadoptions.com