Tuesday, November 17, 2009

two sides to every coin

I have tried very hard to understand things from the birth mom's side, or maybe some of you hadn't noticed (obviously by some of the comments that I get and chose to delete rather than post for all to see).

I have become friends with birth moms, just as I am friends with adoptees. I try to understand everyone's point of view.

I cannot imagine what it would be like to make an adoption plan for my child.

I cannot imagine what it would be like to give birth, because I am not able to carry a baby to full term.

I have been getting some ugly comments.

Some of you cannot imagine what it is like to not be able to carry a baby full term. Did you ever think of that? You ask me to think of how difficult it is for the birth mom making an adoption plan for her unborn baby. I do. I have. Have you ever given any thought to what it's like to be a women who is unable to have children? You might want to consider thinking about it.

As in life, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all. I will not post your comment, so kindly keep it to yourself.

My blog is for friends and family and strangers to follow along our journey to adopt. I hope to educate some about adoption as well as learn from kind commenters.

Thank you.

12 comments:

StefanieJinelle said...

My heart hurts for you, it really does.
I can't imagine not being able to have children.

But trust me, it is hard to carry a full term baby and love it with everything you have and want it more than anything and give the baby to someone else who probably wants it equally as bad as you, maybe more.
It's completely going against your motherly instincts to raise the baby on your own.

Everyone goes through a bump in the road of life.
I'll pray for you in every aspect of adoption (: Either you be blessed with a child that you carry or a child that comes into your home a special way.

BB said...

the anti-adoption hate is out in full force as of late. I think it is due to it being November. Keep your chin up!

Jessica said...

well said. I agree that most people that say ugly things never ever look at it from our point of view.

Julie said...

thanks girls, your support IS appreciated!

birthmothertalks said...

I am sorry people are rude to you. I do my very best to respond only if I can do it in a nice way.

KT said...

You said it...IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, DON'T SAY IT AT ALL!

I am sorry to hear that this situation didn't work out. Hoping for a better tomorrow.

Rachel said...

Very well said. I agree with everything you posted. And I'll pray for you!

Allie said...

Yeah, the trolls have come out to play lately, forcing several blogs private. I'm really pissed about that.

Stay strong.
Allie

Hedgetoad said...

I just wanted to say Thank You for your writing. No one has a corner on the "pain market" - there are no easy answers or paths for anyone. Anyone who thinks that there is, is just plain wrong.

Again, thank you for sharing your journey.

Mom of Snooch said...

I hope this isn't to brash for Julie to post but as I told Julie on the phone: Continuously reminding Julie of how difficult it is for the birthmom (to choose to give a child up for adoption or in choosing a family for her baby, etc.) does NOT relieve her own emotional pain. This is JULIE'S blog. It's about HER journey. I think Julie has been very conscious about respecting the "triad." I hope other women who are struggling to adopt and read this blog find comfort and support. Julie is truly an inspiration to chasing one's dream.

Host Name said...

Julie:

You probably have noticed my wife and I have commented on many of your posts, because the similariies between your experience and ours is uncanny. My wife had 8 miscarriages (the longest term was 4 months). We went to fertility specialists as well, my semen tested, etc...I was even injecting my wife every day to help strengthen the wall of uterus when she did get pregnant. No luck so adoption was our next best choice.....

The problem with my wife was not that she couldn't get pregant, but rather her uterus could never handle the fetus.

We'll be thinking of you as we continue our search as well. If there is any info we can share with each other, let's do it.

Best,
Steve & Alyson

Anonymous said...

I just stumbled upon your blog from the fertility forums and noticed your post.

I'm sorry you've gotten some bad comments. I wonder if it isn't by a rabid bunch of birth moms who gave their children up for adoption who are, ironically, dead-set against adoption and believe it's tantamount to stealing babies from their "natural" mothers.

Whatever!

Hang in there - people THAT ignorant don't deserve a response from you.