Wednesday, December 16, 2009

holidays schmallidays

I admit it, I'm having a very difficult time.

I miscarried in a December and I had a baby due in December of another year. I'm not currently a fan of December. The holidays are very difficult for me. We had a nice Thanksgiving with friends but our Christmas has been turned inside out, so we are going away.

I dread the holidays. It marks the passing of time. Another Christmas, childless. It's been a year and a half since we started our adoption journey. We were sure we would have been adopted by now. But we continue to wait.

Currently we are waiting to hear about two sets of brothers, one little girl and one little boy. Someone has to want us.

I had email from a friend who has adopted a beautiful boy. She assured me that after we adopt, I won't think of the miscarriages or the missed due dates. I will be able to move passed the tragedies that I currently dwell on.

I don't even like to Christmas shop any more.

Right now, I'd just like to jump ahead a month, which makes me a bit sad because I always loved the holidays.

I try to look ahead to future holidays, when we have a child (or two) and we can celebrate together, as a family.

Dear reader, I wish you and your family happy holidays, I will try not to be away so long again, but there's been nothing to report.

8 comments:

BB said...

Thinking of you during this time!

Margaret said...

I hope that you do have a good Christmas and New Years. And I hope that you do have something to report soon!

Praying!

Julie said...

Girls, thank you for your support, it really means a lot. - J

Life and Adoption! said...

There is a child that does want you. I wish it would happen sooner, but it WILL happen.

I completely understand how hard the holidays are, it is totally like the mile marker of life.

I hope that you have a wonderful Christmas and are able to enjoy the things that are present in your life right now. Thinking of you!

Stephanie said...

I hate that you are feeling this way Julie! I have dreaded the holidays for the past two years. After all the tragedy I've been through over the last 4 months I finally realized that I have to celebrate my life, not just think about my life without a baby. It's still hard and I still miss the child I miscarried. I'm pretty sure we would be finding out the sex this month. But I have so much living to do and so do you! Keep your chin up girl...alot of people are praying for you!

Alicia and Mike said...

Thinking of you, I hope your Holidays are brighter than expected. (((Hugs))) Alicia

KT said...

Don't blame you for going away, the thought crossed our minds as well...it is a difficult time of year.

Stay positive...I know it is hard...but stay postive...

Yaya said...

I'm feeling very bah humbugish myself...