holidays schmallidays

I admit it, I'm having a very difficult time.

I miscarried in a December and I had a baby due in December of another year. I'm not currently a fan of December. The holidays are very difficult for me. We had a nice Thanksgiving with friends but our Christmas has been turned inside out, so we are going away.

I dread the holidays. It marks the passing of time. Another Christmas, childless. It's been a year and a half since we started our adoption journey. We were sure we would have been adopted by now. But we continue to wait.

Currently we are waiting to hear about two sets of brothers, one little girl and one little boy. Someone has to want us.

I had email from a friend who has adopted a beautiful boy. She assured me that after we adopt, I won't think of the miscarriages or the missed due dates. I will be able to move passed the tragedies that I currently dwell on.

I don't even like to Christmas shop any more.

Right now, I'd just like to jump ahead a month, which makes me a bit sad because I always loved the holidays.

I try to look ahead to future holidays, when we have a child (or two) and we can celebrate together, as a family.

Dear reader, I wish you and your family happy holidays, I will try not to be away so long again, but there's been nothing to report.