Tuesday, March 17, 2009

how it works or "what are we waiting for"

Ok, so while we are waiting, I thought I'd try to explain how it works, or at least how it works ideally...

We will hear of an adoption situation from one of you, our attorney, our social worker or whomever.

When a situation arises that we are interested in and can afford, we will submit our adoption profile. (That's why our profile is so important, it is someone's first impression of us, it is why I made myself crazy :D

The potential birth mom will look over profiles (or if she doesn't want to perhaps her parents will or even the birth father). She may have something specific she is looking for like a couple with no biological children or a couple living in a certain geographic location. So I think her attorney or social worker will screen out some profiles before the birth mom views them.

She will decide which prospective adoptive parents she wants to meet. It's like being a finalist in a contest.

After she meets everyone, she chooses who she wants to be the adoptive parents of her baby. Some birth moms allow the adoptive parents to be in the delivery room, some don't. Every situation is unique.

Some birth moms want no contact with the adoptive parents or the baby. Others want photos and letters, some want annual visits, it just depends on what everyone wants and agrees on. Any contact between the birth mom and adoptive parents is called an open adoption. There is no contact in a closed adoption.

We are open to an open adoption and would like our child to have the option to get to know their birth parents when they are older, the decision would be theirs to make at 18 or something.

standard lingo:
BM = birth mom
BF = birth father
APs = adoptive parents


birthmothertalks said...

Can I ask a question? How would you have a open adoption and your child still has to wait until they are 18 years old to meet their birthparents?

Julie said...

I guess that didn't really come out right. We are open to open adoption and whatever kind of contact the birthmom wants. We are also open to closed adoption but would encourage our child to search for their birthparents when they are 18 or whatever age they are allowed.

Does that make more sense or have I muddied the waters further?

Maria and Nathan said...

We think this was a really great explanation, can we post it and link to to your site on our blog? We STILL have some friends and family members saying 'Wait...how does this work?' and we think your explanation is perfect.
We really hope you find your Juno, from one hopeful mom and dad to another. Good luck Julie and Chris!!!

Julie said...

Maria & Nathan - PLEASE! feel free! I do appreciate you asking. Good luck to you future mom and dad! We must unite and support each other. The road is a long and bumpy one.