Monday, March 30, 2009

my quest to understand the other side of adoption

A "cyber" friend of mine who is also waiting to be chosen as an adoptive parent sent me this link.

As potential adoptive parents, we continue to try to understand what adoption is like from the other side, from the birth mom's side. I am trying to understand what a difficult and courageous decision adoption is for her.

'He deserves more'

Get your tissues ready.


Overwhelmed! said...

Thanks for the warning about needing a tissue. That was beautiful.

We adopted our son as a newborn in a private, domestic adoption. We got to know his birth parents for 4 months before he was born. We were there at the hospital the day he was born and we got to take him home.

I knew that it would be hard for his birth parents to place him with us, but what I didn't realize is how hard it would be for us to take him!

It's hard to wrap your mind and heart around the fact that your happiness is at the expense of someone else's pain and loss. I grieved for the loss his birth parents experienced in their decision to place him for adoption with us. I cried with his birth mother on the phone the day she called to tell us she'd signed to termination paperwork, allowing us to petition to adopt.

I still feel sorrow at times and I do live up to my promise to provide updates and pictures to his birth mother. She deserves the peace of mind that those updates give her!

I will also speak of her and our son's birth father with the respect that they deserve, when our son is old enough to start asking questions about them.

birthmothertalks said...

That is a beautiful video. If you want to really see the other side (other than the video) read blogs from birth parents. That will give you a general idea. Maybe you already read them. I read adoptive parents blogs, because it helps me to see the other side too.