Thursday, December 4, 2008

the universe and beyond

Ok, so Sharon (friend from Va Tech) and Ashley (old boyfriend) came along just when I needed them (both having been through home studies and adoptions themselves), shortly after our decision to adopt. They have both been a great help to us throughout our home study.

Now, other family members and friends are coming back into my life people I haven't spoken to or seen in YEARS, even more support for us. I find the timing very interesting. Hopefully this is all a sign that things will start going our way. The more people who know we are looking to adopt, hopefully the sooner we will be able to find a baby to adopt. As odd as it sounds, it's all about networking for us. We are not Brad and Angelina.

Infertility was so different, so lonely and isolating. I'm so glad we are finding the adoption process to be the total opposite. It's so wonderful to have so much support from family and friends and even strangers. My world is getting smaller and bigger at the very same time.

• • • • • •

The home study portion of the process is nearly over (final meeting tomorrow, Dec. 5). I will be so glad to have that behind us. It's been such an invasive process.

After we have been approved, I will get an 800 number (866?) to include in our profile and on our calling cards. Our attorney advised us to get an 800 number to make it easier for a potential birth mom to contact us if she wants to. I need to look into the 800 number thing, I'll report back and let you know what I find out.

In the mean time I have to finish our profile, we can't hand it out until our home study is approved. We will list the name of our attorney and her contact info and our 800 number and an email address specifically for birth moms to contact us. You DO NOT list your last name anywhere in the profile. It seems a lot of birth moms do not want to know your last name, if they do want to know, they can find out later. Also, do not list your home address on your profile, just use your first name(s).

After our home study is approved (two weeks - Dec. 19 - hopefully) we can start applying for grants. So there is more paperwork on our horizon, but we can handle it.

• • • • • •

I recently learned something that really surprised me: in the state of Florida, gays and lesbians are not "permitted" to adopt. What is that about. I really find this shocking in this day and age.

I have learned the adoption laws are different for every state, not surprising. I understand Arizona is one of the "easy" states to adopt in. Some states are more difficult to adopt from than others. A good attorney will know the different laws for all or most states.

States have all different amounts of time for birth parents to terminate parental rights (TPR). The shorter the required time, the better for the adoptive parents.

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