I've learned a couple of important things rather late in life:
- life is not fair (learn it early)
- this is not what i had planned
The first is simple enough. Life is not fair. We should all be taught this from a very young age. When you children say (er whine?) "but it's not fair" please reprogram them to say "life's not fair." because life IS not fair.
Maybe I learned it earlier in life, but it's just now sinking in. We plan to earch our children from an early age that life is not fair.
Ok, on to #2 and this is not what I had planned. At 27, I'd completely given up on ever finding Mr. Right and getting married. I planned to be a single mom and get artificially inseminated someday. (I met my husband in Paris in my 30th year.)
We started trying to get pregnant when I was 34 years old, yes, 10 years ago. This life is so not what I'd planned, not what we'd planned. We thought by now that's we'd have three kids (for the record, I have been pregnant 3 times).
Recently I went to a friend's baby shower. She is 40 and single. She said to me "this is so not what I had planned."
I am in touch with an old boy friend. He found himself divorced and trying to date when he was 36. He said to me "that was so not what I had planned." (He has since remarried and he and his wife adopted a boy from Russia.)
You thought you'd never be married.
You thought you'd never divorce.
You thought you'd have kids.
You thought you'd never have kids.
Life is just never what anyone plans. It's not just me. It's not just my life that isn't going as planned. It's not just my life that isn't fair. No one's life is fair. No one's life is what they'd planned.
Living and learning while we wait to adopt.