Have you seen me? This is me. That is my husband in the glasses, and those are our friends Rob and John.
I cannot recall seeing myself happy. I look very happy in this photo. I was very happy.
It was a day.
A day without injecting myself with infertility drugs. A day without mourning the loss of my three unborn babies. A day without wondering if I was going to get my period. A day without combing the internet in search of children to inquire about. A day without waiting for a phone call from our social worker. A day without thinking that I'm getting older with each passing day. A day without wondering if people will ask me if I'm my child's grandma. A day without wondering if we will ever have children. A day without wondering why I here. A day without wondering why I cannot carry a baby full term. A day without worrying what's wrong with me. A day without tears.
We've been trying to start our family since 2000. We've tried naturally, with infertility drugs, both oral and injections (self-inflicted by Julie) and two IUIs. None successful. We've had three miscarriages, though all pregnancies happened naturally.
We thought our problem was getting pregnant, we didn't realize we'd also have a problem staying pregnant. It seems it's just not meant to be. We spent over eight years on the infertility road.
We have now taken a turn onto the road to domestic adoption. We hope there is a baby, child or children out there somewhere who is/are waiting for us and wants to be part of our family.
A new road opened for us in February 2010. We are now in the process of receiving embryos through a private donation. We look forward to FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) in the coming months, and hope for a successful pregnancy!
Who knew the road to parenthood would such a long and crazy one for us?
from Labor of the Heart
Your child is waiting for you somewhere. Your job is to find the people who will help you find her or him.
11.18.10 End of IVF journey
11.18.10 FET #2 failed
11.04.10 FET #2
08.12.10 FET #1 failed
07.29.10 FET #1
06.24.10 embryos arrived at our lab
06.10.10 legal agreement finalized
03.25.10 1st RE appointment - all is well!
03.18.10 began legal process for donor embryos
02.25.10 contacted by generous embryo donors
05.14.09 updated home study from newborn to age 0-5 and up to two sibs
01.18.09 profile completed
12.24.08 received finalized Home Study report approval!