Friday, October 24, 2008

the first big day

Didn't sleep, too worried about silly things like what to wear! It's our first of three meetings with our social worker. We have already spoken on the phone and emailed so the ice has already been broken. And we went to the family center earlier this month for our workshop. The second meeting on November 14 is at our home. The third meeting will be back at the family center on December 5.

Alan & Stephanie: thanks for your comments and encouragement. I'm happy to report no criminal records here ;)

My husband immigrated from the UK in 1996, so we have been through a lot of paperwork and the approval process before. This is feeling a little like that experience. I had to have a letter from my employer and fill out endless forms, he had to have a chest x-ray, get a report from Scotland Yard and finally have an appointment at the US Embassy. I had to sign papers saying I'd be financially responsible for him for the first three years he was here, because if he was unemployed he could not collect unemployment during that time, they don't want immigrants to be a drain on the American economy, but he had to sign up for selective services and pay taxes the moment he got off the plane.

So we do know what it's like to have others in control of our future, and from all the reading I've been doing, that's one of the most difficult thinga for people, the feeling that others are in control of their future.

I am trying to think of it like this, our social worker is on our side, and she will help lead us through the piles of paperwork and the whole adoption journey. I'm sure she wants what's best for us and what's best for our future child, and I am just trying to keep that in mind.

I keep reminding myself that while it may feel like we are being interrogated, that is not what is actually happening. Our social worker needs to get to know us so she will know what's best for us.

I am actually VERY excited.

I'll let you know how it went when I get home tonight. Thanks again to Alan, Stephanie and Julie for your support, it means a lot!

1 comment:

Foxxy One said...

Ahhhh, the home study! Just think of it as having coffee or tea with a friend. We actually made a pot of coffee, had some cookies and just hung out and chatted and then gave her a tour of the house.

Just remember - she's on your side. She's not there to trick you or anything like that. If you don't have one - get a fire extinguisher for your kitchen (most home studies require it) and make sure you have working fire & carbon monoxide detectors.

At our home study, we had to agree not to use corporal punishment with Dylan (no problem). My husband turned to our social worker and asked "what do you think about duct tape?" We all laughed and she told us that masking tape was acceptable.

Have fun!

(P.S. - my word verification is prick - I kid you not).